By Olutola Animashaun
I have been thinking a lot lately about how desperately we all need proper time off, especially as a woman juggling multiple responsibilities. Between work deadlines, family commitments, and the endless mental load we carry, it feels like there is never a moment to breathe. But I have come to realise that taking holidays is not just a luxury – it is essential for our mental health and wellbeing.
The Unique Pressures Women Face
As women, we often carry what researchers call the “mental load” , that invisible burden of remembering, planning, and organising everything from activities of daily needs, spiritual needs, birthday presents to grocery lists. Even when we are physically present at work or relaxing at home, our minds are constantly running through to-do lists. This constant mental juggling act leaves us exhausted, stressed, and more prone to anxiety and depression.
I have noticed this in my life and in conversations with individuals in the community . We are brilliant at looking after everyone else but terrible at prioritising our own needs. When was the last time you took a proper break without feeling guilty about it? If you are struggling to remember, you are not alone.
Why Holidays Matter More Than We Think
Taking time off does something magical for our brains. When we step away from our usual routines and responsibilities, we give our minds permission to rest and reset. Research shows that holidays can reduce cortisol levels, that stress hormone that keeps us feeling wired and worried. Lower stress hormones mean better sleep, improved mood, and a stronger immune system.
But it is not just about the physical benefits. Holidays give us perspective. When I am caught up in the daily grind, everything feels urgent and overwhelming. A few days away helps me see which problems actually need my immediate attention and which ones I have been unnecessarily stressing about.
The Mental Health Crisis Among Women In The Uk
The importance of this topic has become even more apparent following recent events here in the UK. The tragic case of Ruth Perry, the headteacher who took her own life after an Ofsted inspection in 2022, highlighted the immense pressure many professional women face. Her story sparked important conversations about workplace stress and mental health support, particularly for women in leadership roles who often feel they must be everything to everyone.
Following the coroner’s ruling in May 2023, which found that the inspection contributed to her death, there has been increased focus on how we can better support women’s mental health in high-pressure environments. Ruth’s sister described how she had been working tirelessly without proper breaks, highlighting how dangerous it can be when we don’t prioritise our wellbeing.
You can read more about this important case and its implications here:
https://www.inquest.org.uk/blog/my-sister-ruth-perry
The Guilt Factor
One of the biggest barriers I see preventing women from taking proper holidays is guilt. We worry about letting colleagues down or leaving family members to cope without us, sometimes even feeling like it is a waste of money that could be better invested. But as the saying goes, “Health is Wealth,” and at this point, I feel it is better to use my resources when I have the capacity to truly enjoy them, rather than saving indefinitely until a time when the value of that enjoyment might be diminished. This guilt is often reinforced by societal expectations that women should be constantly available and self-sacrificing.
But here is what I have learned: taking time off does not make us selfish – it makes us more effective. When we are well-rested and mentally refreshed, we are better partners, mothers, friends, and colleagues. We make better decisions, have more patience, and can actually enjoy the things we are working so hard for.
Making Holidays Work for Women’s Wellbeing
Not all holidays are created equal when it comes to mental health benefits. I have found that the most restorative breaks have a few key elements:
Complete disconnection from work is crucial. This means actually turning off email notifications and resisting the urge to “just quickly check” messages. I know it feels impossible, but your mental health depends on these boundaries.
Doing things you genuinely enjoy rather than what you think you should do on holiday makes a huge difference. If lying on a beach stresses you out, do not feel obligated to book that resort holiday. Maybe you would prefer exploring a new city, spending time in nature, or simply staying home and reading books.
Letting go of perfectionism is essential. Your holiday does not need to be Instagram-worthy or perfectly planned. Some of my most refreshing breaks have been spontaneous weekends away or staycations where I did very little except rest.
The Ripple Effects
When women prioritise their mental health through regular breaks, the benefits extend far beyond individual wellbeing. Children see their mothers modelling healthy boundaries and self-care. Workplaces become more productive when employees return refreshed rather than burnt out.
Relationships improve when we are not constantly stressed and exhausted.
I have also noticed that taking holidays helps me appreciate my regular life more. After a break, I return to work with renewed energy and creativity. Problems that seemed insurmountable before my time off suddenly have obvious solutions.
Making It Happen
If you are reading this thinking “this all sounds lovely, but I can not possibly take time off right now,” I understand. But start small. Even a long weekend or a few days off can provide significant mental health benefits. Book something in advance so you can not talk yourself out of it. Ask for help with responsibilities that usually fall to you.
Remember that taking care of your mental health is not selfish – it is necessary. In a world that constantly demands more from women, choosing to rest and recharge is actually a radical act of self-preservation.
The conversation sparked by cases like Ruth Perry’s reminds us that we can not afford to ignore the warning signs of stress and burnout. Taking regular holidays is not just about having fun – it is about protecting our mental health and ensuring we are around to enjoy all the things we’re working so hard for.
Your wellbeing matters. Your mental health matters. And yes, you absolutely deserve that time off.
Positive Women Empowerment(PWE)
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